아기야...미안해

17세에아이를낳은산모예요..

낙태......할생각도잇엇고할려고도햇엇고...근데아기한테미안하구다미안한마음으로하루하루를힘들게버티고잇엇어요..맨날아이에게미안하다고많이하고,,그러다가진통이시작되엇어요...배가너무아프고허리가끊어질듯아프더라구여..병원에갓더니이미자궁이다열렷대요..그래서태동?알아보는검사하다가양수가터져서1시간만에아이를출산햇습니다....간호사언니가공주님이이예여~하는데..아이가응애응애울더라구여...아이가잘운다고하더라구여...ㅎㅎ근데차마아이에얼굴을볼수가업더라구여....내가참....아이를가지면서술도먹고담배도많이폇는데건강하게잘태어나준아이에게고맙기도하더라구여...참힘들엇을텐데....그래도잘견더내서건강히태어낫다는게...근데..이아이를입양보내기로햇답니다....애아빠는연락이아예안되는상황이고...저도이아이를혼자키울수업다는것을잘알기떄문이죠..

아기야..엄마가널...못볼꺼같애...엄마가많이미안해..어린나이에책임질수업는일한것도미안하구..돈많고~엄마아빠다잇는그런가정에서잘살아~너는나란존재를아마모르고지내겟지?엄마란사람이참나란사람이엄마라서미안하구...정말고마워...아픈대하나업이태어나줘서...참널낳고.....엄마는참......몬가실감이안낫어...배를만져도배가업고..내가왜병실에누워잇어야되는지엄마는참실감이안낫어...몬가되게허전햇어..몬가막먹고싶엇고몬가먹어서배를채워넣고싶엇다는생각밖에업엇어지금2층으로내려가면너를볼수잇는데...볼수잇는데엄마는널볼염치가업는거같애...애기야엄마가배에잇는동안안좋은소리만듣게하구먹고싶은것도잘못먹고그랫던거다미안해....이제행복하게~아이를진심으로가지고싶어하는널많이사랑해줄부모님만나서잘살아~돈많아서~너먹고싶은거너하고싶은거다해줄수잇는부모님만나서너하고싶은거다하면서살어~엄마는널그렇게해줄능력이안되서...미안해....아가야엄마가많이미안해.....