Monica: Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.
Chandler: I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.
Monica: Well, I just lost my erection.
Chandler: I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?
Monica: You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.
Chandler: But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.
Monica: Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!
Chandler: Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!
Monica: I know!!! My erection is back!
Joey: (To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you!
Phoebe: Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe Thank you. (Pours his coffee in a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse.) Thank you!
Joey:: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.
Joey: If you want I could loan you some money?
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?
Phoebe: You could do that?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.
Phoebe: Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!
Joey: Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.
Phoebe: Oh, really?
Joey: No it is awesome!
Ross: Hi guys.
All: (Adlib hellos)
Phoebe: Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?
Ross: Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?
Joey: She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?
Rachel: Well, because if one more person says "what a cute little boy" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna!
Ross: I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?
Monica: (Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.
Chandler: How long was I in there?
Monica: Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.
Chandler: Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!
Monica: Don't you want to look through the rest?
Chandler: I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.
Monica: You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!
Chandler: I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?"
Monica: I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best."
Chandler: Honey? Leave it to the pros.
Monica: I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.
Chandler: "The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones."
Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody."
Rachel: That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.
Ross: Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.
Rachel: I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . (To the guy behind her desk) Who the hell are you!?
Guy: Who the hell are you?
Rachel: I'm the hell person whose office this is!
Ross: Good one, Rach.
Guy: I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Gavin: Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy?
Season 9 episode 11
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.
Chandler: I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.
Monica: Well, I just lost my erection.
Chandler: I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?
Monica: You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.
Chandler: But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.
Monica: Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There
could be folders and files!
Chandler: Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!
Monica: I know!!! My erection is back!
Joey: (To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you!
Phoebe: Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe Thank you. (Pours his coffee in a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse.) Thank you!
Joey:: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.
Joey: If you want I could loan you some money?
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?
Phoebe: You could do that?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.
Phoebe: Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!
Joey: Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.
Phoebe: Oh, really?
Joey: No it is awesome!
Ross: Hi guys.
All: (Adlib hellos)
Phoebe: Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?
Ross: Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?
Joey: She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?
Rachel: Well, because if one more person says "what a cute little boy" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna!
Ross: I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?
Monica: (Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key
passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.
Chandler: How long was I in there?
Monica: Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.
Chandler: Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!
Monica: Don't you want to look through the rest?
Chandler: I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.
Monica: You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!
Chandler: I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape.
Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?"
Monica: I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best."
Chandler: Honey? Leave it to the pros.
Monica: I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.
Chandler: "The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones."
Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody."
Rachel: That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.
Ross: Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.
Rachel: I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . (To the guy behind her desk) Who the hell are you!?
Guy: Who the hell are you?
Rachel: I'm the hell person whose office this is!
Ross: Good one, Rach.
Guy: I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Gavin: Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy?