My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says
my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?' And thats how the fight
started...
I
took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the T bone steak, medium rare, please." He said,
"Aren't you worried about mad cow?"" I answered " she can order for
herself." And thats how the fight
started...
My
wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with
what she sees and says to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied 'Your
eyesight is so perfect my dear.' And thats how the fight
started.....
I
tried to talk my wife into buying a carton of Carlton Draught Beer for
$39.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And thats
how the fight
started....
I
was asleep with my wife like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in
the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The wife, bewildered, jumped up
from the bed and yelled 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So I
jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. I smashed
myself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to my car as fast as I
could go. A few minutes later I returned and went up to the bedroom
and screamed at wife, 'I AM your husband!' She quietly said, 'Oh Yeah?
then why were you running?' And thats how the fight
started.....
I
asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my
heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been
in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And
that's how the fight
started....
---------------------------------------------------------------------- My
wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she
answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
friend." And that's how the fight
started.... --------------------------------------------------------------------
thats how the fight started.....
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And thats how the fight started...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the T bone steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?""
I answered " she can order for herself."
And thats how the fight started...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied 'Your eyesight is so perfect my dear.'
And thats how the fight started.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a carton of Carlton Draught Beer for $39.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And thats how the fight started....
---------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her bum look big. I told her
not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and thats how the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was asleep with my wife like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The wife, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So I jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the
window. I smashed myself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and
to my car as fast as I could go.
A few minutes later I returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at wife, 'I AM your husband!'
She quietly said, 'Oh Yeah? then why were you running?'
And thats how the fight started.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's how the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's how the fight started....
--------------------------------------------------------------------