Dr. Alex Benzer is a Harvard and Cambridge educated certified hypnotherapist who thinks "smart people" (his definition: the top 5% of the population) have a harder time dating than the rest of us dim guys. He even goes so far as to say on a recent Huffington Post blog: "the smarter you are, the more clueless you will be, and the more problems you're going to have in your dating life."
(Oh, schadenfreude)
He thinks smarty pants people have spent more time on achievements than relationships, are bored by the common folk and so used to acquiring kudos for their "mental jewelry" that garnering sexual interest at a bar is a foreign, scary and often unsuccessful concept. He seems to think all "smart" people were too busy playing the violin and taking part in their school's Model UN to ever crush, date and gain romantic wisdom.
He automatically assumes if you can correctly finish a series of shapes, choose the right analogous word, and write a slammin' enough essay to gain entrance to Harvard you aren't as hot as your average IQ'd peers ("maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance. Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Or your sexual aggression as a male," he says) and shoot yourself in the foot romantically because you "overthink" this whole dating thing.
"When all of your personal energy is concentrated in the head, it never gets a chance to trickle down to the heart, or, god forbid, the groin" he crows. He's even written a few books about this titled, The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Embracing Your Inner Goddess & Finding the Fulfillment You Deserve and The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man's Enlightened Guide to Success with Women.
Which is a shame because we think his argument is dubious at best.
While people who are generally all work and no play (top 5% of the intellectual population or not), will see the repercussions in their social life, Dr. Benzar seems stuck on this concept of high IQ and correlation with romantic happiness—as if a C average and hobbies that include reality TV and UsWeekly gifts one an all access pass to a finding a soul mate.
Dating is hard for everyone. "Smart" or not. People are fickle, complicated, neurotic and comprised of a shockingly wide array of baggage and issues. It surely is a ride for the senses (and we don't mean that in a good way, necessarily) when one accepts this whole dating challenge.
Oh, if only the good doctor could be a fly on the wall in a room with the other 95% trying to mate—how horrified he'd be. These geniuses he speaks of at least have their Ivy League diplomas and IQ scores to cuddle with at night.
똑똑한사람은 연애가 어렵다?
하버드와 캠브리지에서 수학한 최면요법 전문가 알렉스 벤저 박사는 “똑똑한 사람일수록 데이트와 연애에서 어려움을 겪는 경우가 많다”고 주장한다 그는 “똑똑하다는”는 기준을 전체 인구의 상위 5% 정도로 잡았다
벤저 박사가 이렇게 주장하는 이유는 여러 가지다 우선 똑똑한 사람들은 인간 관계보다는 업무 또는 학문적 성취에 더 많은 시간을 투자한다 스스로 똑똑하다고 생각하기 때문에 이성과 자연스럽게 가까워지는 법을 익힐 필요성을 느끼지 않는다는 것도 문제다
덕분에 바에서 처음 만나는 여성에게 지루한 이야기를 늘어놓기도 하고 소개팅에서 마음에 드는 상대를 만나도 자신의 호감을 적절히 전달하지 못하게 된다 자신에게 흥미 있는 화제만 꺼낼 줄 알지 상대방의 관심사를 파악하지 못하는 것이다
또 하나 중요한 사실, 똑똑한 사람들은 또래의 다른 친구들보다 외모가 떨어지거나 그럼에도 불구하고 신경을 쓰지 않는 경우가 많다 그들은 자신의 뛰어난 두뇌로도 충분하다는 착각을 한다 높은 IQ는 시험을 잘 보게 만드는 것이지 이성을 사로잡는 도구는 아니다
하지만 나는 벤저 박사의 이 같은 주장과 충고들이 다소 불편하게 느껴진다 연애는 누구에게나 쉽지 않은 과정이다 상위 5%의 IQ를 가졌건 아니건 가네 제 짝을 만나고 서로 맞춰가는 과정은 힘겹기 마련이다
굳이 똑똑한 사람과 똑똑하지 못한 사람의 연애를 나누어 생각해야 할까? 내가 보기엔 그렇지 않다 사랑 앞에서 우리는 모두 한 남자요 한 여자일 뿐이다
notice : YAHOO
출처
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/is-dating-harder-for-smart-people-426803/;_ylt=AjYui7q6k31Y0pAQaoPRkKqBbqU5
Is Dating Harder For Smart People?
Dr. Alex Benzer is a Harvard and Cambridge educated certified hypnotherapist who thinks "smart people" (his definition: the top 5% of the population) have a harder time dating than the rest of us dim guys. He even goes so far as to say on a recent Huffington Post blog: "the smarter you are, the more clueless you will be, and the more problems you're going to have in your dating life."
(Oh, schadenfreude)
He thinks smarty pants people have spent more time on achievements than relationships, are bored by the common folk and so used to acquiring kudos for their "mental jewelry" that garnering sexual interest at a bar is a foreign, scary and often unsuccessful concept. He seems to think all "smart" people were too busy playing the violin and taking part in their school's Model UN to ever crush, date and gain romantic wisdom.
He automatically assumes if you can correctly finish a series of shapes, choose the right analogous word, and write a slammin' enough essay to gain entrance to Harvard you aren't as hot as your average IQ'd peers ("maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance. Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Or your sexual aggression as a male," he says) and shoot yourself in the foot romantically because you "overthink" this whole dating thing.
You know, because you're "smart."
"When all of your personal energy is concentrated in the head, it never gets a chance to trickle down to the heart, or, god forbid, the groin" he crows. He's even written a few books about this titled, The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Embracing Your Inner Goddess & Finding the Fulfillment You Deserve and The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man's Enlightened Guide to Success with Women.
Which is a shame because we think his argument is dubious at best.
While people who are generally all work and no play (top 5% of the intellectual population or not), will see the repercussions in their social life, Dr. Benzar seems stuck on this concept of high IQ and correlation with romantic happiness—as if a C average and hobbies that include reality TV and UsWeekly gifts one an all access pass to a finding a soul mate.
Dating is hard for everyone. "Smart" or not. People are fickle, complicated, neurotic and comprised of a shockingly wide array of baggage and issues. It surely is a ride for the senses (and we don't mean that in a good way, necessarily) when one accepts this whole dating challenge.
Oh, if only the good doctor could be a fly on the wall in a room with the other 95% trying to mate—how horrified he'd be. These geniuses he speaks of at least have their Ivy League diplomas and IQ scores to cuddle with at night.
We're the ones who got cheated.
Written by Melissa Noble for YourTango.com.