I really hate myself for telling you this through the message. For once I dreamed about saying this in person, but unfortunately I think this is the only moment when I can be brave enough to say it. I want to tell you.
Yes I am sad and exhausted. I hope you are not surprised so much. The reason is because for the longest time, I wanted to tell you that I like you so much.
From the first day that we met with our friends and ate dinner together, I knew that you are someone special. You spoke Korean, you smiled, you loved music, and all the rest. I thought I was blessed to meet you.
You do not know how many nights I thanked God for letting me get to know you and have so much valuable time with you.
We ate together, practiced piano until late hours together, went to buy groceries together, played basketball and ran together, studied at library together, shared our family stories and struggles together.
Those memories are so precious to me. For the first time, I gave a Christmas present to someone who was not my family member. And, I can't believe how excited I was when I drove to the airport to pick you up because seeing you again after a seemingly long winter break made me just happy.
You told me his story. Even though I might not be good looking as him, can't piano well like he does, do not know what his personality is like, and what you guys went through together, if I try hard enough, I thought that I would be able to replace his place. And I guess that is part of the reason why I started to practice piano, go for a workout often and wanted to spend more time with you.
However, I realized that I cannot be the one to fill your emptiness when I read your video descr1ption. Knowing that you are still missing him. That acknowledgement just took all the strengths out of me and made me wonder if I can still go on and try like I used to. Made me ask myself, will i ever be able to get in your mind. I feel like there are no more courage left for me to go on.
I do not blame you though, and I do not blame him either. If he was that special to you, then of course it would be hard for you to forget and move on. If someone was able to forget that quick, I would have been disappointed in them.
I think I will organize my heart too. Of course, it will not be easy to put the memories behind because it seems like you are always there wherever I go in school. Like yesterday night, I was going for dinner and saw you on the phone in front of the chapel. I went to practice piano to calm myself and you were just there before me.
But still, I am going to try to forget the memories because it seems like it is not the right timing. When the time heals all of us, perhaps we can start everything fresh. Only our God knows.
I hope that we can still be good friends even after you read this message, help each other get healed. If not, that is understandable also. I just wanted to be honest to you and be brave for myself rather than hiding this inside of me, then acting like a hypocrite. Sorry for all of this in all the sudden.
Lastly, thanks for teaching me the beauty of art of giving. It taught me what loving someone is like. Thanks for giving me so much happiness in my life for past few months.
F너를 위해서Y
I really hate myself for telling you this through the message.
For once I dreamed about saying this in person, but unfortunately I think this is the only moment when I can be brave enough to say it.
I want to tell you.
Yes I am sad and exhausted. I hope you are not surprised so much.
The reason is because for the longest time,
I wanted to tell you that I like you so much.
From the first day that we met with our friends and ate dinner together, I knew that you are someone special. You spoke Korean, you smiled, you loved music, and all the rest. I thought I was blessed to meet you.
You do not know how many nights I thanked God for letting me get to know you and have so much valuable time with you.
We ate together,
practiced piano until late hours together,
went to buy groceries together,
played basketball and ran together,
studied at library together,
shared our family stories and struggles together.
Those memories are so precious to me.
For the first time, I gave a Christmas present to someone who was not my family member. And,
I can't believe how excited I was when I drove to the airport to pick you up because seeing you again after a seemingly long winter break made me just happy.
You told me his story.
Even though I might not be good looking as him, can't piano well like he does, do not know what his personality is like, and what you guys went through together, if I try hard enough, I thought that I would be able to replace his place. And I guess that is part of the reason why I started to practice piano, go for a workout often and wanted to spend more time with you.
However, I realized that I cannot be the one to fill your emptiness when I read your video descr1ption. Knowing that you are still missing him. That acknowledgement just took all the strengths out of me and made me wonder if I can still go on and try like I used to. Made me ask myself, will i ever be able to get in your mind. I feel like there are no more courage left for me to go on.
I do not blame you though, and I do not blame him either. If he was that special to you, then of course it would be hard for you to forget and move on. If someone was able to forget that quick, I would have been disappointed in them.
I think I will organize my heart too. Of course, it will not be easy to put the memories behind because it seems like you are always there wherever I go in school. Like yesterday night, I was going for dinner and saw you on the phone in front of the chapel. I went to practice piano to calm myself and you were just there before me.
But still, I am going to try to forget the memories because it seems like it is not the right timing. When the time heals all of us, perhaps we can start everything fresh. Only our God knows.
I hope that we can still be good friends even after you read this message, help each other get healed. If not, that is understandable also.
I just wanted to be honest to you and be brave for myself rather than hiding this inside of me, then acting like a hypocrite.
Sorry for all of this in all the sudden.
Lastly, thanks for teaching me the beauty of art of giving. It taught me what loving someone is like. Thanks for giving me so much happiness in my life for past few months.