It's not about dad or mom. It's about me. I know  lots of ppl care about me and want me to be a better person. I can't, though. Something inside me won't let me be free. It's when I got my braces on, I guess. I insisted that I get them on which've made me crazy, a obssessed one. I'm the one who've been possessed by those I caused. It's shamful, regretful, blameful. I'm the one who didn't listen to those who care about me being possessed, reminding myself of my stupid, regretful thoughts. What I'm all talking about are braces. yeah, I have to admit, I regret it. I shouldn't have done this. I should've listened to my dad and aunt.

I want to killl myself or reverse the time but I can't. I know there're many who need me. 재영이, 엄마, 아빠, 외할머니.

I rejected their advice, even when I had to.

I'm stupid. I'm full of shits. I know this.

I'm a fat, grip-lost, without-any-dreams, aims, worthless girl.

I'm confused. Whenever my dad tells me to be a good girl, appropriate as a colleger. cuz I don't think he's been a good dad/husband. He just .,  Now I want to post this on nate pann and see how people give me their advice to me. I'm crazy.

How should I do. What should I do.

I can't help. I think I got kinda depression or something.

But I think I'm rationalizing myself. I think ppl who really got depressed mentally can't think themselves as a patient.

I'm failing at school, my face got ugly cuz of my stupid obssession/demand on my dentist.

I'm really losing my grip.

Give me your advice, please, save me from myself.