02/06/07 Tus.

10:47 PM

Doug walked up and searched for his late night snack.

After closing the fridge with empty hands, he gave a glance at me. He found a supposed-to-be-done-with-her-homework girl doing somekind of school-related stuff. 

Doug : wha cha workin on !!?

Yup the girl is me

me: ummm...

He even made a few steps to investigate what I was doing and was ready to burst a word "nuckle head" for not doing my homework early enough.

Dougn: (louder) HUH!?

Putting my hands on page 442, I closed the book and showed him the cover of the book.

me: It's like..a vocab book

And I looked Doug's face and it seemed a little confused

Soon, he said,

Doug: oh, so.. basically you're learing English

For few second, I couldn't say a word

I don't know why. Everytime, well i have't looked up the book frequent enough to call the number 'everytime', I opened the book, the tought that always comes to my head is that 'ok here we goes again, i HAVE to do this for my good.' It's true. I'm not lying. Every single vocabulary in the book is flesh and blood to me. I am gonna use those words over and over again as long as I live. They will show up on my ACT, SAT, TOEFL, GRE, GMAT tests. The words build up my career. It starts right here in the book.

It is absolutely no fun. Think, how ican it be possibly enjoyable to look and feel under pressure? No, absolutely no. I'd rather watch CSI or go to bed. I, however, choose to sit on my chair and grab my black Monami pen.

Doug: oh, so.. basically you're learing English

His saying echoed in my head.

Learning English. That is true also.

Me: yeah

For the first time, i think, i recalled the moment when I learned phonics and read a book about hurricane when i was about 4th grade. Up to today, those momnets in my early age remained the 'period of learing English.' Frankly, that period hasn't end, and it will never do.

Doug: oh, so.. basically you're learing English

I became numb and arrogant.

I am very used to be heard compliments about my forein language skill from other people. My mom's friend, my friends, teachers and many others. The truth is, (sigh), I'm not that good at. You have no idea how many times i looked up my dictionary to spell the words that i used above. The brutal yellow and red lines on my rough draft of my article always displease me.

I considered the level that enables me to study the vocabs in Word Smart, which i believe is pretty high level, a privilege. The English skill that I have right now is superior enough to study those hard-core stuff.

Wrong, so wrong. It is a mere step of Learning another Language. I'm 17, not even 20. I have a lot more days to live than I alredy have. What am i goning to do with all those years? Watching CSI and sleeping? HECK NO. I am going to be that kind of person who you would see on the cover of the times megazine. I am going to be that kind of person whose speech would quoted in front page of high school text book.

I am not even done learning my second language. I have a LOT more to go. High school and College is just a start. ( jeez that'ssuch a cliche.) Breaking into smaller phases, learning these vocabs and getting 5-pointer quiz are fundamental and necessary steps that I inevitably have to pass(and better be good at.)

Learing English. It sounds so antiquated. If I draw a mind map with "Learning English", red APPLE would be drawn on my paper next, capitalized.

I'll be good, eventually. Just see.