When I decided to turn off the light and go to bed, I spotted something tiny, buzzing below my screen. I thought "Let me do it, hit it". But I was so lazy that I don't the tip of finger. So I went into sleep without catch him(or her). As I opened up my eyes and let the sun light come into my room, I found a small bug on my 'Prison Break' script. It was already dead. Not by someone, but by itself. Some sorrow in me overwhelmed me up. I had thought about killing a live thing which was to live just one night. Life of me, to compare, is so long but I will be end someday. Maybe tomorrow, if I am lucky, some more days will be added. I don't want to feel day-and-days will last forever. I want it to be more precious, 'especially today and especially today, and today'. Without luck a few special days will be my life, else, with some luck, it last long and more special days will be same thing. 'Unlucky' and 'lucky' are not different from each other. They are just the length of my life, what can make my life worthy is 'today's. Life is today.
These days there have been so many festivals on campus. As I'm not good at keeping relationships with other people, I am just in the middle of it. Not so many far from them enjoying the playful campus life, also not separated from my work at school. I entered here to be a mathematician. I was a self-disciplined person according to my lights. But everyday life in here is so confusing. In this way, I'll get nothing when I receive my bachelor's degree.
I have to fix it and arrange my circumstances, surroundings. I am doing it by cutting my time in order to correspond with the acts I do. There's so much crap reducing my time. Especially, the relationship with other people. I'm not a weirdo. I am not telling like "We don't have to meet, talk or have a good time with friends or relatives.", but just emphasizing they, I mean all the people today, spending so much time on it. Because of the development of electronic communications, like cell phone, PC messenger and on, we use every little piece of time to do it. Of course, I do it too, everytime, everywhere.
Life is brief not as far as we can think about. Today and 'the next' today become all of life. We do have to spend a day like such a whole life. Everytime we get up, take this sentence "Today is my whole life.". There's nothing can prove or guarantee our future. There's no fate. But we can know the only thing that we are living on somewhere today. The only thing that Descartes couldn't doubt was that he was doubting at that current time. There's no past, and no future. Human being only in current time and that is the only thing in existence. So don't waste life. Present time is unique, and that's what our lives are about at all.
