Love is...

09.17.2006 on a SUN.

in the bookstore and my house

Q: what is my love toward her?

A: stay with her in a place for a long time

     I imagined that the woman beside me today in the church was her mother, who wants to feel me near me. And I imagined, in that flow, I saw a girl with bit fat cheeks like her, right outside of the church. I became crazy again on might falling in love with her.

     Then, I went to Seobinggo station, which has two platform: one for Yongsan, the other for Duksu. I was supposed to go to Oksu for transfering a train for the Kyobo bookstore.

     I sat on a chair, and on the platform right over my one, which is for Yongsan, I saw a beautiful Korean girl. I kept seeing the girl; around 2 minutes later, she stood up and went around. I saw her several times, and she sat on a seat 15 meters away from the past chair. Actually, during that time, a notice board about arriving of trains was telling that the train for Yongsan was coming; finally, it arrived in Seobinggo station. I prepared seperating with her, and the train departed. Immediately then, suddenly, the space she sat on was still occupied; actually, she was there.

     I felt some heaviness: 'what can I do? I was interested in you. you are here where nobody is. Did you feel love of me?' While I was thinking in the flow, just 1 minute later, the train for my destination came. I hesitated for a while; my heart like stone led me into the train one by one.(I don't know why I still remember the floor from the platform to inside of the train at the moment.) For I'd like to see her lastly, I lean on a bar beside window. The train moved. I stared just the scene the window showed; what the hell!!! I couldn't find her anywhere on the platform for Yongsan. She was running in order to come over to me, from her patform to my platform.

     The train kept moving without understanding my and her hearts and arrived Oksu station; in fact, I didn't know there was one more station between Seobinggo and Oksu, Hannam, until I write this article here, in a corner of the Kyobo bookstore. While going upstairs on the Oksu station, I consoled myself that I may get together with her again, but I know I can't since I don't remeber and can not recognize her face. Love began and faded away in the flow of this story.

     Do you know what I'm thinking? I'm expecting to coinsidently get together with the girl I fall in love recently, in this Kyobo bookstore, where no matter when I visit, I found a thick feeling of sicking love, mainly from music. At this moment, I imagine a scene I face to the girl in this meaningful bookstore, and I determine I'll hug her very firmly, and after that, I give her a kiss on her

forehead softly.

     Now, I stand up and leave this corner and give time a chance of being with her.

     Sometimes what I learned from my mind in the past is totally wrong, bad so should be perished. When I'm afraid of this plan, I become rationalized. Sometimes doing not right things is essentially necessary.

     I went around the whole bookstore two times; however, I wasn't able to find her in the hallow and quiet bookstore in silence.