I'm tired of whining. I wish I could just stop bitching over the internet about how things suck ass right now like some emo kid basking in self pity and loathing. And for the love of god why do I have to write in English like some goddamn yank when I lived in Korea for most of my days. It's not as if my rusty, broken up English is anything to boast about. I'm beginning to sound like those attention seeking teenagers on youtube yapping on and on about their failed relationships and how life appears to be pointless and all the bullcrap those emotionally unstable kids sprout day in day out. And it's really getting to me. I should be playing starcraft 24/7 and watch these losers and laugh at their ludicrous moaning whenever I'm bored. But no. It's me. Nothing would please me more than erasing this piece of crap a few weeks from now when everything works out as it should do. Those few weeks seem lightyears away though. I can't take it anymore. I swear to god if things get anyworse and probably going to have a nervous breakdown or lose my mind completely. If writing on my stupid blog in English like a loser at work isn't a sign for what's to come I don't know what is. It's frightening to imagine what kind of an emotional wreck I'll be if I so much as slip and fuck up this whole situation. Phew. If only I had the guts to let this all out in Korean, then I could live with myself. The more I write the stronger my urge to say fuck it and erase this mess. Shut up and get to work boy, whining won't help. Yeah it doesn't, but things blow so hard right now I can't help but let myself go and get all this shit off my chest. It's not as if anyone else is going to read this for literary value or for entertainment. Maybe some quirky pervert who enjoys other people's suffering. Heh, suffering seems to trivial whenever it's someone else feeling the pain. I swear that if I was not me I would kick me in the balls for being such a little bitch. Jesus man, just take things as they come along and grow a pair. Wooh. So is this worth psychoanalyzing? It'll sure be fun to come back later on and laugh about how much of a weakling I was back then. Either that or I'll come back with something even more atrociously embarassing. I'm not much of a religious person, but these days I keep asking someone, anyone, to end this nightmare. Must be the pressure getting to me.

End of rant.