I'm going to study abroad next semester, and I will be single. So, I wanted to know if you folks have any advice for dating korean girls, or any insight into the main differences between the way Korean and American girls act. Thanks for your help.
2 years ago
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by Shinchon
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May 17, 2007
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This is my opinion. Please understand before reading it that it's very hard to write about dating Korean girls without pissing someone off. Either some nationalistic Korean guy is going to slam me, or some feminist is going to slam me, or some alpha male ex-marine is going to slam me. So just know that in advance. I can't please everybody with my answer. My single biggest piece of advice is this -- don't assume a girl likes you just because she's laughing and cheery and trying to practice her English with you. Number of times that's happened to me -- at least 1,000. I'm not exaggerating. It happens often several times a day, and I've lived in Korea for almost five years. Number of actual girlfriends I've had in Korea -- three. That's averaging about one per year in my adult life. Number of actual girlfriends I've had in Korea, who, after breaking up with, I still think were decent people -- one. Don't even assume she likes you just because she gave you her phone number. I cannot tell you how many times a girl has given me her number (sometimes without me even asking), and then she thinks it's just a big language exchange. Don't misunderstand. So in other words, you might feel like an absolute rock star or millionaire at first, but once you start trying to date any of the cute girls who practices her English with you, she'll probably run like hell! Don't take it personally. You will not be the first foreign guy to think things are great for a few weeks or months, only to realize the truth! There are lots of guys in the army, English teachers, etc. who talk about how "easy" Korean girls are, but I have a challenge for those guys -- I bet not one of them can actually bring a girl home if we hit five different bars or clubs in one night. Because I've hit the bars and clubs with GIs, English teachers, foreign exchange students, etc. plenty of times, and never seen a guy (no matter how handsome or rich he is) go home with a girl. Never. Generally the guys who do well in Korea are either:
1) Either Mormon or military. They tend to have conservative conceptions of gender roles that go well with what Korean women expect. These guys often end up in long-term relationships with Korean women or marry them. Especially in the case of the Mormons, these guys are willing to go months or years without sex, which is exactly in line with what many prudish Korean women want. OR 2) Have lots of money. I hear one of the founders of Yahoo! has a penthouse in Gangnam and has quite a bit of fun. Some people earlier in this thread have said Korean girls are not gold diggers, because Korea is not a third world country. Korea is not a third world country, true, but Korean girls are MUCH more interested in your paycheck than western girls are. In fact, there's a Korean expression you should know -- "남자의 능력" -- "a man's proficiency," which means how much money he makes. That's how most women seem to choose their men. 취집 is another expression you should know -- "getting a job in a house" -- when a woman becomes a housewife just for the money, because she can't/doesn't want to do other work. OR 3) Constantly on the prowl. Playing it as a numbers game. Guys like this flirt with every girl they come across. Spend all day getting numbers and contacting them. They know that even though only 5% of Korean girls are willing to date them, all they have to do is make serious advances to 20 girls and they'll be successful. These guys are scumbags.
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Almost five years in Korea
2 years ago
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First off I'd like to thank you wholeheartedly for such a thoughtful response. It had some great info in it.
두줄요약
1. 한국여자 그렇게 헤프지 않다는 인식이 외국 사이트에도 번져 있음. Easy girl은 정말 일부인 듯.
2. 근데 돈 밝히는 종특은 한국남에게나 외국남에게나 동등하게 발동 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
